Anger is a normal human reaction to some life experiences. It's a simple emotion; it occurs when one is under attack, or being deceived, insulted, or frustrated.
Anger helps to relieve built-up energy and tension. While we have learned that expressing anger can be a healthy way of managing the emotion, when excessive, it can become a problem. Excessive anger may even be a symptom of more complex issues; it can be a symptom of, and contribute to, certain mental health problems and sometimes make existing problems worse.
When out of control, anger can turn destructive. It can significantly impact quality of life—affecting your relationships, your career, and overall well-being. There are ways, however, that can help you learn to better control your anger and lessen the impact it is having on your daily life.
Anger problems often arise from our failure to manage our emotions. Anger, like all emotions, involves physiological and chemical changes in the body—heart rate and levels of adrenaline. For some people, these surges can become addictive and destructive. There is a fine line between acknowledging anger and venting until it is out of control.
Aggression is an instinctive way to express anger, relating back to the 'fight or flight' reaction that allows us to protect ourselves when in danger. But this is not always suitable. There are other ways of expressing and managing your anger without aggression, including relaxation techniques and anger management therapy.
When we express anger, there are a variety of conscious and unconscious processes we use to deal with the feelings. The way in which we control these, however, is what determines whether our anger is healthy or unhealthy. When expressing anger assertively—in a non-aggressive but constructive way—you can assert your needs without hurting the people around you.
We all cope with anger in our own way, just as we do when we are feeling sad or stressed. There are many reasons why you may not be able to control anger. The way you interpret and react to certain situations can depend on many life factors including past experiences, your childhood, and current circumstances.
You will have your own, personal things that trigger the anger within you—we all do. However, there are some common things that will, for many of us at least, make us all feel angry, such as feelings of threat or attack, frustration, powerlessness, or being treated unfairly.
Fundamentally, anger becomes a problem when it starts having a negative impact on you and those around you. Though this may depend on how you're expressing your anger, whether you're keeping it to yourself or letting it out at inappropriate times, you are putting your health and well-being in jeopardy, as well as your relationships and other important aspects of your life.
If your anger becomes violent or abusive, then much of your life can be affected. This destructive behavior can affect your career and relationships and be very damaging for those around you. Talking to a professional can help; you can learn how to cope with your anger but also how to rebuild any damaged relationships.
It can be scary when you feel like you can't control your anger, but there are ways to manage the emotion. Coping methods include taking time to think, such as counting to 10 before reacting, going for a walk, or talking to a friend.
It is often easy to let go of angry feelings by taking a moment to calm down; breathing deeply and slowly or distracting yourself with something you enjoy, like dancing to upbeat music. However, this is not always easy to do. When anger becomes a problem, not everyone can step out of the situation and calm down.
Anger management therapy will reduce feelings anger creates, allowing the individual to research possible causes and triggers, and to confront any issues that may be underlying. Group or one-to-one sessions are available, and these therapies work on specific types of anger issues, such as relationships, work-related, or adolescent anger through methods like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness.
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